set in stone -- diy tile -- the big mistake, aka . . .

Sorry about the lack of pics here, I didn’t take any during installation – “finished” coming in a slide show later in the week. (Ok. I was trying to be cute. Writing and tiling are very similar activities -- first you must plan, and you must do. Here is the final installment.)

Is that a hump on your back?

Ok, there was a hump in my floor where the hallway met the laundry. This was due in part to the fact that I mixed up too much self-leveling compound, pouring it out one night in low light after a long day of work (ask my wife to recount this experience). I know, "Excuses, Excuses," – This hump only accentuated the fact that I couldn't get it where I needed it to go. The compound dried too quickly, and a low spot took its place in the center of the laundry floor.

So what did I do? Well, I mentioned previously that I had installed under-tile heat in this floor. I was reluctant, because of it, to address the hump with my angle grinder. (If you have ever done this, you know what I mean; it makes a crazy mess.) Instead, I grabbed a tile stone, threw gloves on, and started rubbing. Self-leveling compound, in the grand scheme of concrete products, is relatively soft; thankfully, I was able to knock that hump down. At least by enough, to proceed.

I was back on track and picked up tiling at the far end of the laundry room – later this run would intersect with where I left off in the hallway. I guess with all my focus on that little hump, I all but forgot about that dip in the center of my floor. . . spreading and setting, spreading and setting, about 10sf at a time. I used a level when needed.

On a roll now, slapping it down

I got a few tiles in that second day, and I really started to roll. I was feeling confident, maybe even a little cocky. I guess over night I assured myself that any irregularity in this floor would be hidden in some part by the more than simple pattern I was using.

On a roll with tile, for me, was still slow going. I was taking special care, depending more on the tile spacers themselves than on a jury stick or any other working lines, to set the tiles perfectly in pattern. I was trying to ensure too that the corners of my tiles were aligning with the edges of each adjacent tile.

After a couple of hours like this, I stepped back. And it looked good. It was time for lunch & well, this day – I decided to grab a beer.

Back to it and finishing it out

It was a hot day last August, and I was feeling good about my job. I ran out the rest the floor pretty effortless. As the natural light faded – me, yes, a few beers in, and my daughters started tugging at me the minute they arrived home from the pool. I told them to give me a few more minutes, as I assessed my job.

I thought to myself, “I really kinda did away with my level about part way through the day. But . . . it looks, ok, from here.” And I put it away; I decided instead to hang with the girls. "Amazing . . .the exact perfect number (I am not kidding) of field tile I needed was in those first six boxes . . . . Amazing."

I would grout a weekend or so later.

Set in stone (aka – do as I say not as I do)

Anyway, that was my tile job. And here comes the painful and humbling truth. I mean, I could have been something; this tile job had all the potential to make me a superstar. But the truth is – I simply blew it. . . . And I have told my wife this many, many, many times.

I skimped just a little too much on prep, drank beer at critical time during the project, and totally and completely forgot about something called a level when . . . I really, really needed it.

When working with wood, mistakes like these are really not a big deal; with tile, however, it set in stone. Any corrections, adjustments, and/or tweaking in any manner is generally not easy. I am talking -- grout saw, hammer and cold chisel, a mess and much sweat.

And yes, I have tried once already on that spot, the dip in the center of my laundry floor. I have already ripped up and replaced some tiles. Is it passable, now? -- Maybe. But I shamefully admit, when we entertained a few weekends ago, I actually pulled our cats' food mat over into that location. (It hid the imperfection rather well.)

My wife does her part, though, she tells me, "You are a not tile setter, and it looks great," and she continues, "It won’t hurt us when we go to sell the house."

Still, I can barely look at it. I failed and . . .in this case, I have no one to blame but myself.

Sometimes it is hard . . . to chalk it up as a learning experience:

The points here, with all these words, are numerous, and are in list form below:

1. I failed because I forgot the basics; I was more concerned with the radiant heat and the pattern than I was with square one, setting the tiles down properly. And Yes, it was a little painful writing this article, but I had to get it off of my chest.

2. I have received several sincere complements on my floor, but still I struggle with it. I mean, in the afternoon light, and in the evening, you can hardly see the area I speak of. But . . . in the low-angled light of morning, typically around the time I am writing to you about home improvement – I see it, sitting there and taunting. AND it drives me crazy.

3. I think of all the how-to stories that would have made great "how-not-to" stories.

4. I think that I should never, ever, take any little bit of skill I have acquired for granted – I am still required, always, to use my head.

5. You (general) can do everything exactly right for 99% of a job, but just that one percent – (and this is where it all deviates from writing) can really screw you.

6. Floors are not only for looking at; they are for walking on.

7. Everything on a house can be undone or re-done (even tile work). It’s not brain surgery. If at first you don’t succeed – try, try again. And you know, I will.

8. I wonder if this job would have turned out better if I had someone, anyone, there to assist me.

9. I am not a tile setter – I am a facilitator. It is me, Building Moxie.

Thank you for reading as I exposed my shortcomings, and think of me as I await my next opportunity with tile. (Continuing fixes in the laundry room included.)

Slide show pics hopefully tomorrow. Thanks again.

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More Moxie:

With tile, there can be issue with lot (as a friend of mine -- you know who you are -- can tell you), you know, variations with coloring and thickness. This is especially true when you consider that the manufacturing of some tile can just cease. For me, I was lucky enough, all out of tile, to have a go-to for my needed fixes. Where others said, "We can't get it." These guys said, "No problem.": http://www.ctmarble.net/